Written by Susan Lane

Still in the news, Jeremy Clarkson, I see

Tongue-in-Cheek Review of Jeremy Clarkson, From Car Reviewer to Mucky Doer

But you’ve moved on from who you used to be
The motoring guru that was you
Along with Richard Hammond and James May too
The information you imparted was brilliant to see
For lots of people who couldn’t be
The font of all knowledge like you three
But the people all lapped it up 
Because you gave it all so generously
With all the different features we did see
And all the over expensive cars
That weren’t ever likely to be
Anywhere near any of those people or me

And let’s breathe Jeremy lol

Some of your audience absolutely loved it and others like me
Ended up watching it out of sufferance you see
Because being fair meant some things you just had to do
Like watching some old geezer
Waffling on about “special cars” that you
Had no interest in, not even to view
And you had to watch even though, like me
It really wasn’t that interesting would you believe
Watching you blokes try to achieve God knows what
With your tasks was beyond me
And the ribbing of Richard by you, and James too
That was quite fabulous but then you knew that too

All the different cars you considered beneath you
But it made us laugh because of some the things you had to do
Like towing the caravans, oh, that was a hoot
And then you had the Star in the Reasonable Priced Car
With some who’d never ventured that far
To even get into the driving seat of any car
They’d never had a lesson you see
But they got through and even did a few repeats

Then there was the real Star of the Show
Flying around the track for everyone to see
Now come on Jeremy, even you must agree
The Stig was definitely the star
The absolute one and only
Who probably didn’t get paid enough
To put up with you three, tee hee hee

From TV Guru to Farmer

And now you’re just a farmer
A virtual nobody, do you not see
Someone who gets paid a pittance, or Diddly Squat
Just for getting dirty regularly
But don’t you dare think you’re anything special to me
Because I know how hard you have to work
To just survive in this awful economy

You have to dream of ways to be
Financially viable and hopefully profitable
For your business to succeed and worst of all
It’s your own money that you’re playing with – daily
So, I wish you good luck with this venture and hope
Nothing impedes the growth of your farm
Or it’s viable profitability
Now I think it’s time for a nice hot cup of tea
Good Bye Jeremy and enjoy hee hee

© Susan Lane. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission from the author.

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Blog | Organic voice | A happy survival of triumph here

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