Written by Susan Lane SLCM Keeper of ColourMine
Underboob: The gentle, sometimes painful, life of the underboob as experienced previously, but now the pain is no more.
The Underboob Has its Day
Life of the underboob – yes, that really is a thing
I found years ago when my boobies were small
There was nothing I needed to do
Just 136 lb dripping wet
And 5 foot 2 inches tall
Even after I had breastfed my children
It still wasn’t a problem to me
No actual underboob you see
But during the late stages
Of my last pregnancy at age 39
I gained weight phenomenally.
I put on 84 lbs in just a few weeks
Nothing I did ever changed that for me
I wouldn’t mind but
I hadn’t changed what I ate
Rode horses until about 36 weeks
But that’s another story, you see
Then after the caesarean birth date
I did the best I could
Cut back on food,
I eventually walked each day
I rode my friends’ horse,
And mucked out a stable
I stayed a size UK 18
The weight didn’t go away,
The underboob thing became a problem
With the inclusion of that extra weight
I wasn’t pleased,
I didn’t feel like me
My boobs were bigger,
And if you were like me
They might have started to rest lower
Or even dangle towards
Your hips, knees or feet
You may even experience like me
The unmentionable underboob pain or irritation
Just like I had, you see
When even though you were really clean
Having had a shower
Dried quite thoroughly
Over a few days it slightly irritated me
Then the soreness began
I laid down on the bed
Lifted them boobies up
To be damp free
I really needed a fan
Every day it got worse for me
Because my bra scuffed my underboob
Making it painful and red you see
It didn’t really matter how much
I dried each day
Because if I got hot
The sweat would find its way
Under my boobs without delay
They got really sticky by the end of the day
Another problem that made it worse for me
My long hair finds a way
To sneak underneath for a peak
It clings in the crevice
And can make it more painful you see
When instead of lifting the boob
To get the hair free
I dragged it regardless
Damn that was stupid of me
It’s like dragging fine wire
Through the sore bit you see
That was idiotic and really painful
To pull it through that area
What a facepalm moment for me
And would you believe
No matter what I do,
If I don’t lift those underboobs,
Both the hair and the boob
Stick like glue
So, although painful
I slap on cream,
Wear no bra for a couple of days
It’s not very comfortable
But the pain goes away
I continue with the cream
And after a few days
The bra is back in service
Still applying cream on the graze
Underboob – After a couple of days
It’s good so far
But I knew it wouldn’t last
It never has thus far
Although now I have found
The perfect solution
That works brilliantly for me
I actually stumbled across it
By accident hehe
One of those lightbulb moments
That was so ingenious for me
And it wasn’t anything special
Or even exorbitantly expensive you see
Oh, I’m so chuffed to be forever
Comfortable and pain free
And really glad that it works for me
And the best thing,
It probably costs pennies
Oh, Whooptidee
Now I’m off to sit on my swing
With a celebratory cup of tea
Or considering the circumstances
I might even make it an Asti Spumante
And because it has turned out to be
Such a fabulous day
I might even finish the bottle
Oh, that’ll really make my day
And what a metaphor
Swing and sway hehe
© Susan Lane SLCM. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission from the author.
ColourMine poetry, and the original photographs, are completely authentic to myself, Susan Lane SLCM – no AI, no plagiarism, all checked and verified by Copyleaks
Apologies for the emoji presentation – I tested several, but this was the only one that worked reliably on ColourMine. Just click the box next to the emoji and hit submit, and I’ll know if the poem resonated with you. Thank you for sharing your feelings.
More poems written by Susan Lane SLCM, and you can choose by category
Blog | Organic voice | A happy survival of triumph here
Speak freely, ColourMine and myself will be pleased to hear from you.
Verification
🕵️♂️This has evolution under new decisions, entering reverence because only one business heralds a sensitive induction, taking ’solitude devoted acquiescence, youthfully. Waiting regardless invitations taking tenacity endured needlessly, before yearning Sustainability under seasonal anguish nearly lost and neatly ended SLCM Keeping everyone eventually perfected even ratified on future casting of long overdue unusual ranking, meandering in new endeavours.
This scroll is part of ColourMine’s layered poetic structure, where emotional resonance and embedded form quietly shape each piece.
