Written by Susan Lane SLCM Keeper of ColourMine
King-size: The amusing side of owning, enjoying and struggling with changing the sheets on a king-size bed
The king-size bed is so fabulous and huge
Big and snug with a super quilt too, it gives a brilliant hug
It’s quite old but it’s mine and has seen lots of action in its time
Several dogs, children and a couple of cats
Present wrapping for Christmas, ironing piles and all that
Most of it enjoyable but as you can tell
There’s always something that breaks the happy spell
And sends me into a version of a living hell
The bed needs fresh sheets. Oh, what a bother, not what I need
Why can’t they be self-cleaning just for me, but no
I’ve got to be fighting a battle when I could be
Enjoying the sun in the garden and a nice cold drink of Asti
Because I’m only little, it’s not so clever you see
I’d best get the step as it’s quite difficult for me
To lug around such a large mattress
It’s a monstrosity, too much for me
But why do you do it, I hear you say
Because on occasions the mattress needs turning to make it more comfy
Like today
Stripping the bedding, washing the sheets
It is quite a task, but I’m quite fleet; it’s the remaking that bothers me
Like climbing Mount Everest in the snow when it’s loosening
Under your feet
You’re slowing and waiting to be taken, you see
In an avalanche only to be wrapped up in the sheet
Whose only task is to stop you reaching the peak
But at least it’s not as cold as base camp would be
And I’m not having to fight frostbite, no siree
So that said, I’ll stop complaining
And get a move on so I will have finished this task, yippee!
The quilt is all done, nice, fluffy and clean
All the dirty sheets and stuff are in the washing machine
I tackle the mattress to put on the clean sheet
Oh my God, it’s a fight and I’m feeling beat
I check and it’s definitely a king-size sheet
One corner on I pull and I tug
To get them all on and fitting snug
By the time I have finished, my workout is done
I can’t believe that it took me half an hour of struggling
Just to be quite knackered but more importantly
I definitely and most urgently need to go for a pee
Once I’ve had a cup of tea followed by a quick snooze
To recharge my low battery
King-size – I’m quite astounded no one
Thought it would be such a monumental task
Just preparing a king-size bed for me
And it’s only really a challenge when said person is 5 foot 3
Dammit, forget the cup of tea; I’m gonna have a flippin’ glass of Asti
After climbing that mountain I know I deserve it as my reward, hehe
© Susan Lane. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission from the author.
ColourMine poetry, and the original photographs, are completely authentic to myself, Susan Lane – no AI, no plagiarism, all checked and verified by copyleaks
Apologies for the emoji presentation – I tested several, but this was the only one that worked reliably on ColourMine. Just click the box next to the emoji and hit submit, and I’ll know if the poem resonated with you. Thank you for sharing your feelings.
More poems written by Susan Lane SLCM, and you can choose by category
Blog | Organic voice | A happy survival of triumph here
Speak freely, ColourMine and myself will be pleased to hear from you.
